I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize