we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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