just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
