As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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