OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
