I wish my penis had an off switch
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
