You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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