5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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