I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
