actually, I'm a sock model
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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