The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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