Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
