my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
