fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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