her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
