there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
