Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
