i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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