I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Watching her eat just hurts me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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