I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
