Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
