When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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