these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
