I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
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