What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
