i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
