do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it because I queefed?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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