So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
