Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
