dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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