I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
that may or may not have been my penis.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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