Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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