You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
