Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My vagina is officially offended.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
