ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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