Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
