dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Let's get the cat blown out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
