You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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