and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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