goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
