What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
