the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
