i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
