Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
