you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
