If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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