She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think my moral compass just broke
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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