What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
