I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
