those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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